One such question is " where do you get your confidence from? " I am unsure of the intention behind the question . But I safely just smile.
But where did my confidence come from?
After 25yrs of my own conscious life . I can say its my Mother.
A woman who was merely 18yrs old ,married a man much older than her. Moved to a city from a small town without much preparation or information. Had two kids and managed a life pretty much like any 1980's Indian wife would have. But What makes her different?
At 18 , A fun loving woman (girl) was married off to a man with so many responsibilities that it inadvertently made it obvious she steps up to help sail this ship of marriage. She did , vehemently . With ease , with belongingness , with love and with true ownership. Just like any other woman back in her days .
Its the fact she managed to live HER life too which makes her stand out in her herd.
She made friends in the new city . She managed to learn to live a life the city demanded without much difficulty. Her friendships have lasted the time tide. Movies, shopping, temples and picnics with her friends were all part of her schedules . She also managed to be a hands-on mother. We (brother and I) never for a minute, missed having her around. Now we cant think of making a cup of coffee by ourselves when she is not around.
Along with all this , she managed to have a career. Much a deal back in those days. She started something with just an idea she and her friend came up with . It was one-off idea at the right time , right place and rightly ventured. It clicked . Clicking its way to be in its 25th year. It being a baby creche and me being a baby then ,made me the first one to be enrolled.
Yes , my confidence comes from this amazing woman who is an example of perfection to me. Loving wife , fatastic mother and a person larger than her life asked for.
To top it all, she lived up to her life. She managed to make memories for herself. A circle of her own. A society where she is looked up to. From being an expert advisor at cooking , housekeeping to married life management . She is a one stop solution to all her friends. Being her daughter I enjoy the comparison I draw from her. When people say I look like her . I feel so proud inside. Also think will I be half as much pretty as she is when I get as old as she is?
I saw how she managed to bring my brother and me up. With limited resources she made us feel so comforted . With a decent job and a lot of support I have around , will I be half as good a mother she is?
I grew up seeing her manage finances like she was an economics SME . With an engineering master degree and corporate experience. I wish I can manage my finances half as well as she did for all of us (dad,brother,me and herself) .
I grew up with awe , looking at her crisis management skills. Strike crisis, be it health , finance , education faults of my brother and me or anything . The composure she had during all these situations is commendable. I wish I get half her compusure and I will think I have attained nirvana .
She is my example of a person who can get over anything over a sleep. A person who does not sulk. Somebody who cannot have a bad mood for more than 5 minutes. Somebody who is so honest in your face, you will hate her because her eyes is telling the truth about who you are.
A person who is so young at heart which makes you feel so old for your age. Take her to a beach, While you are worried about your pants getting wet. Turn around and you will find her playing with water like a school girl and you feel so intimidated .
She is my best friend. My confidante. When you can confide to your mother without any fear. Its a win of a mother - daughter story. She made it so easy for me to talk to her about anything under the sun. Be it friends, stress over studies , guy related issues I could just go up to her and tell her everything . Somebody said , talking to your mother is equal to a hug with lasted 5 mins. And I enjoy the comfort of her hug like a new born baby.
The best advice I have ever got from her is a bitter truth. " the world is not going to end"
I say "mom , I am finding it difficult"
And she said " Give it a try . No matter what the result is , the world is not going to end" . Its been my mantra ever since.
The daughter in me , the friend in me , the sister in me, the career oriented woman in me , the fun loving chirpy girl in me , the wife in me wish we are half as much a woman as she is .
